By Angela Mason of Angela Coaches
Life coaching changed my life.
In a huge, dramatic way. Truly life-changing.
And so I became a life coach. It just made sense.
Yet, so often I hear, “what is that exactly?”
Well, a brilliant coach friend of mine describes it like this:
In comparing coaching to counseling, Counseling is like ARCHAEOLOGY.
You’re digging through your past to understand how your experiences molded you into who you are today. It can reveal why you are the way you are and why you react the way you react, to the people around you and the situations you encounter.
Life Coaching is like ARCHITECTURE.
You get to decide the life you desire. You get to design and build that life. Intentionally. Being intentional is the key. You’re in control. You always have been.
Does that sound too good to be true? I assure you, it’s not!
My coaching in particular has a Biblical basis, however I don’t teach the Bible. That’s not my expertise. When I coach, we’re guided by how God views us, loves us, and holds each of us in the highest regard. We’re also guided by several verses:
· Be transformed by the renewing of your mind.
· As a man thinketh, so is he.
· Take every thought captive.
If you follow any personal development guru, you’ve heard all about how your thoughts create your reality. So…renew your mind and be transformed!
How is that done?
The first thing I ask my clients to do is start journaling. It’s the easiest way to “see” your thoughts. Where are the negative thoughts? What do they all have in common? Are they related to your work life or your relationship with your spouse or are they based in resentment from past experiences? ALL will be revealed in your journal.
There are generally lots of fears about journaling. What if my spouse reads it? What if my kids find it and read it? To that, I ask where can you store your journal where no one will find it? Or if you have a particularly sensitive journal entry, would it be healing to shred that page? Or burn it in the backyard fire pit? There’s a solution if you decide there’s a solution. If you decide there isn’t a solution, then you won’t journal, you won’t uncover the thoughts that aren’t serving you, and you won’t begin the designing of your bright, shiny, new intentional life. The choice is yours to make.
Once you allow yourself to let go, really start writing and opening up, you’ll have so much to say! It’s a release just getting those words out of your brain.
Thoughts are the language of the mind. So, get all those thoughts out on paper. Some call it a thought download; some call it a brain dump. Get it all out! Mental clutter is real. And it can be so draining.
You’re probably going to have a lot of feelings about all those things you wrote down. Some of those feelings have likely been marinating for quite some time now. Here’s the interesting thing about feelings and emotions…you can’t go around them. You 100% have to go through them. Feel them. And they can be really big and overwhelming at times.
Identifying feelings isn’t necessarily processing them. So, how do you process feelings and emotions?
In the same way thoughts are the language of the mind, emotions are the language of the body.
You’re going to need to physically do something to move those emotions on out of your body. Personally, I yell (when no one’s around). And then I go for a run. Maybe running isn’t your thing. Other ideas are crying, screaming into a pillow, taking a walk (the fresh air can also help), stretching, yoga, meditation, praying, etc. Sometimes, just sitting with them is necessary. Take the time to feel them. It could take minutes or days or even weeks.
It’s important to remember that whatever feelings come up for you, they’re not wrong. They’re your feelings.
Now, if you like to analyze things to death, as I do, you’ll read through some of your journal entries, acknowledge how your thoughts made you feel, and make a connection between those things and the things you may believe have gone wrong in your life. “If I hadn’t made (that) choice in college, then I wouldn’t have done (this), which led me to…” “If I had chosen job offer 2 over job offer 1, then I wouldn’t have moved (there).” There are a million scenarios here. But you can make connections between your thoughts, your feelings, and the decisions you’ve made throughout your life. Some, resulting in regret.
I had a life coach for 18 months who drilled into me the motto of “no regrets.” I was working through preparing myself for my first husband to move out. No regrets, at that time, meant to me have I done everything within my power to save my marriage? Is there anything else I can try? I experimented with some ideas, and ultimately, by the time he made the move, I had done everything I could think of, and I had no regrets with that aspect of the situation.
After journaling, processing feelings, and looking for patterns in your behavior, you now have a good understanding of how you work. Do you like what you see? Are you at peace with who you are? Or do you want to tweak some things?
This is where life coaching comes in.
Let’s start designing your life with intention!
The things and people around you can stay the same, that’s fine. But you get to decide how it all plays out. How do you want to think about that annoying co-worker or micro-managing boss in order to experience the feelings you want to have about your job/career? You can start in either place…choose your thoughts first or choose your feelings first…and reverse engineer your life.
If you want to love your job again, choose to love your job again. What thoughts do you need to think in order to feel that way? Are there actions you need to take to reinforce these new thoughts? A morning routine to remind yourself to think these new thoughts every morning? A prayer you can say as you walk into your office?
Set yourself up for success. To be the person you want to be. Changing your thoughts and designing your life isn’t easy, but coaching can make it easier.
