By: Anna McLaughlin , Senior Leader, Norwex Team Dare Greatly
It’s that time of year again. Time for sappy holiday movies … time for revisiting our favorite traditions … and time for filling the calendar with so much merry-making that, about mid-way through December, we’re about ready to chuck the whole thing and call it a day. Anyone besides me?
When it comes to this 6-week block between Thanksgiving and New Year’s, it’s not just food that we might be tempted to overindulge in - sometimes, the biggest challenge is having too much to DO. We race through the season and find ourselves even more exhausted by the time we hit January than we were in November.
But what if it could be different? Today, I want to share a practice that helps our family to LOVE this November-to-January stretch just a little more every year. The following five steps are our family road map. If you’d like to give this process a try, click here for my free step-by-step guide to walk you through right along with me.
Step 1: Choose your word
I once heard an amazing bit of wisdom - if you don’t know what *goal* to set, instead start with an EMOTION you want to feel, as a way to guide your actions. This principle has been a game-changer for me over the years, and Christmas is no exception. Do you want to feel reverent? Contemplative? Festive? Restful? There is no wrong answer, but I’m often drawn to the antidote of whatever we’ve had too much of (for example, we choose restful if we’ve been overscheduled).
Once you’ve got your word, write it where you can see it often. Your word is your “gatekeeper” of sorts - the lens through which you view your decisions. Deciding ahead of time how we want to *feel* sets the field of play for the season.
Step 2: Schedule your memories … and your to-dos
Depending on when you’re reading this, you may have already done quite a bit of your merry-making. That’s ok - just start from here, and remember you can *always* change your mind going forward. First, do a complete brain-dump of all the to-dos and want-to-dos for your immediate family between now and the new year. It doesn’t matter whether it’s a never-miss-it routine, still put pen to paper so that you can find it a place on the calendar.
Once it’s in writing, look through the list of everything with your immediate family. Pick 3-5 things that are your “must-have” memories, and 3-5 things that are your non-negotiable to-dos, keeping your word in mind as you’re choosing. Knowing what your family’s most-importants are helps you be mindful to create a buffer around those activities. For example, if you *have to* go to a certain Christmas event every year, schedule it early in the month or create space around it so it’s sure to happen. By deciding ahead-of-time what matters most, you know where to trim.
Step 3: Decide what you’re *not* doing
Here’s where we really get to embrace our inner crunchy soul. Today, before the to-do list threatens to take us down … TODAY, we’re deciding that we get to be finite beings. We get to say no to things. We get to improve upon things that might otherwise be hard. We get to revise and modify so that we can love this season even more this year.
Martha Beck, a life coach, couches this idea as “bag it, barter it, better it.” If there’s something that doesn’t give you joy, toss it … trade out with someone else who may dislike it less … or, if neither of those options is available, improve upon it. Think about the places of tension and stress, whether logistical, emotional, interpersonal, etc. Did you lose a loved one this year? Are there family commitments that bring up some hard dynamics? Are there places where conflict rears its head or expectations overwhelm? This is where we just start playing with what *might* be possible - *WHAT IF* it could be better? What would need to take place? Whose help would I need? What conversations would I need to have? Planning ahead of time to ease the pressure of the season helps us stay grounded as the challenges arise.
Step 4: Trick your brain
Having just faced down the barrel of my own stinking thinking myself this week, I can say with certainty - no matter how much heart you put into loving this season ahead of time, a moment (or, more likely, MANY) will come when the wheels totally and utterly fall off. It’s OK - we’re preparing for this ahead of time - you’ve got this.
Choose some “escape hatches” that will create space, joy, and a return to that word you chose at the beginning of this whole process. Whether it’s a quick tool to get you into your parasympathetic state like deep breathing, essential oils or acupressure, or it’s something more festive like making your favorite holiday drink and listening to Christmas music, find those things that set your soul at rest, and DO them. Even if it just takes a minute or two, that’s all you need to remind you that you are safe … and everything is going to be OK.
Step 5: Permission to revise
This last step serves more as a reminder - you get to change your mind! If things are feeling overscheduled, remember - you know your 3-5 must-dos and 3-5 definitely-want-to-dos. Everything else … it’s negotiable. And really, at the end of the day, EVERYTHING is negotiable. Remember how you want to feel this season. As my business coach so often says, our emotions do not depend on our circumstances, but rather on our *thoughts*, regardless of our circumstances. And friend, we have full access to new thoughts any moment of any day of any season! What good news!
This time of year truly is powerful - so full of hope and possibility … so full of richness and beauty. May we all choose to show up with intention and purpose so that we can LOVE the gift we’ve been given. And maybe just maybe, if we do so during this most wonderful time of the year … we can bring the same work into our daily lives, as well. What do you think?
Anna McLaughlin is a grateful senior leader of her Norwex team, Team Dare Greatly. She is a homeschool mama of four children, a crunchy girl through and through, and a passionate advocate for living our lives well as a means of stewarding all the gifts God has given.